She is Lucky, and so am I

This week and weekend I endured a scary happening that came very unexpectedly.  I was rushed into an unexpected surgery where my heart had then taken an even more unexpected reaction to the anesthesia.  I had known I had an abnormal heart beat for quite some time now as other doctors have noticed but it has never been a huge issues to me (as it really should saying it is my heart!).  After waking up and from the anesthesia and feeling as if an elephant was sitting on my chest, the doctor had explained that my heart rate would not stay at a normal rate as well as pattern during the procedure.  It often shot up and then dropped to extreme and worry some levels.  He referred my mother and I to a couple cardiologist to talk about possible procedures from here.

When I arrived home the first presence to greet me was my adorable and sweet old dog Lucky.  I had rescued Lucky a little over a year ago now and I am so happy to to have provided her a wonderful home to carry out the rest of her life.  She had come from a family where husband and wife were both physically and verbally abusive so she is scared of nay loud voice or noise and is mortified of thunder storms.  Having known all this and witnessing her reactions for myself I knew I had done the right thing in giving this sweet girl a new comforting home where she would not have to live in fear anymore.  What I didn't know, was how much of an impact that little lady was going to have on me and my life.

Lucky did not leave my side the entire time spent in bed.  When I got up to do absolutely anything, Lucky was right there to aid me.  I have never felt more comforted and taken care of as I have with her considering the state and condition I was in.  I cannot be more thankful to have her in my life and it means the world to me knowing how she did not leave my side and knew I needed to be watched over.  I feel I have truly been blessed  and she is the absolute perfect addition to my life.  When ever I need to be reassured or a push to get through something I know she will always be there.  I truly believe animals are smarter than we give them credit for.  I also believe they are guardian angels in disguise.   

Lucky is my best friend and I can't help but feel at ease every time I see her and she plops herself in my lap.  I truly believe she sensed that I took her home that day to give her a new life and she is in return has made mine a brighter as well.  One of the best feelings I think I have ever come across is taking her home and knowing in my heart how great of a thing I was doing and the wonderful life I was saving and now knowing that she in return would do the same for me.

 

"I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list."

Just like any of us, a lot has been going on in my life lately, both great and not so great.  One things for sure though is that I have definitely been carrying a smile through it all.  :]  One of my greatest weaknesses however (and I am certainly not afraid to admit it) would be committing the crime of over thinking leading to a negative outlook or attitude.  My biggest issue is that sometimes I tend to find things or situations to good to be true and often seek out negativity in them so a sense of reality can strike me.  However I am learning that this evil method of mine is known as self sabotage.

This quote is very... very true.

I am learning to take things as they come.  Both with an open mind as well as an open heart.  To be curious and not judgmental and just enjoy the moment that is in front of me.  To not skip out on chances and seek every opportunity I get no matter what it may be.  With all that being said, I start a new chapter in my life titled "Journeys" and will be adventuring to Okinawa, Japan in November to attend the United States Marine Corps Ball.

Now, although very skeptical as well as anxious to the max I am learning to put those thoughts behind me and bask in the amazing concept of this opportunity.  This will be my first time out of the country and I never expected I would be traveling to Japan out of all places. I can honestly say I have never been more excited.  Excited to start my chapter of Journeys and hopefully be that much inspired to continue to add to it in the near future.  My dress has finally been purchased for the ball and in doing so, I had to stop and think to myself how surreal this all really is.  How many times in ones life does an opportunity such as attending the United States Marine Corps Ball in Okinawa, Japan come up?  And how lucky and fortunate am I to have been asked by one of the most amazing people and friends I have ever had in my life.  Totally cliche but it is true... I am one very lucky girl...  And more importantly I need to stop myself sometimes in the midst of craziness and realize, things happen for a reason, life carries on and all in all... everything is going to be okay... So continue to smile. :]

I have always wanted to venture out and see the world someday and I think this is  great place to start and cannot thank my Marine enough for helping me and giving me that little extra push with this process.  This is going to be a trip I will remember and cherish forever and cannot wait to see where it will go from here.  I am already looking forwarding to adding to this this chapter. :]

Follow your heart, but be quiet at first

This weeks lesson was all about trust in timing and in given situations.  No matter how organized we tend to think we can keep things together in our lives, there are bound to be those times and incidents where we have to accept and trust a situation will get better.  The hardest part about this concept for me, is the fact that I tend to over think things... a lot!  I may be accepting of a situation, however when my mind decides to, thoughts beyond thoughts and anxiety even begin to take over.  I am slowly but surely learning to handle and challenge these inner thoughts and feelings by accepting something for what it is, moving on from it and having a positive encouraging thought in the back of my mind rather than a million potential negative and questionable ones. 

A sad reality has to come to me where I have to sell one of the most important things in my life, my sweet horse Marvin.  I found him a great home and am very excited for his new owners to take him places and teach him new things since he is still a baby and learning.  This week Marvin caught himself in a fence and ended up tearing a hole in his skin that led straight to his bone.  Luckily there was no fracture and he was placed under vet care immediately.  I was mortified to call his new owner who had driven from California to Arizona to tell her the horrible new.  I could not help but think to myself on how horrible the timing was and more so how horrible it is for me to see him this way.  He is having a difficult time putting pressure on the leg but I have been working with him every day to help him walk at his own pace.  He has made great progress even within a few days but it is still a hard sight for me to see him in so much pain and struggle.  My concept of trust in this situation, is to trust that he will for sure get better and he will be even stronger than before.  Oddly enough I have found that I have to trust in the timing of this situation as well.  Instead of over thinking why this could have happened to me or poor Marvin at this time, I have to be strong and stable for the both of us and trust in his progress, health and future happiness.

His new owner was very understanding of the situation and wishes him all the best.  She cannot wait until she can finally come pick him up once he is healed, and I am grateful to have found such a wonderful person to take further care of him.  It's interesting the situations we find ourselves having to use trust in.  For me personally, I thought this was a new way to utilize this concept and I can even see it along the lines of having and keeping up with faith.  This one sure has been a difficult lesson to watch because I absolutely cannot bear seeing my child (as I call him since I have raised him since he was a baby), be in pain, suffering and struggling.  He is a tough boy though and I know he will pull through with the faith that me and his future owner are executing.  Lesson learned, trust that things do get better as well as fall into place accordingly.  

"Sometimes Being a Sister is Even Better Than Being a Superhero"

This week I got the honor of spending some quality time with my younger brother.  I say honor because I find my brother to be very special to me and not like anyone else in this entire world.  Events such as these always hold a particular place in my heart.  There is nothing more heart warming than the time spent with family and to know how happy you make someone and how happy they make you in return.  My little brother and I have had our share of sibling battles over the years but have both come out winners as we both consider one another our best friend.

"Gi, I want to celebrate my birthday in a mosh pit!" - Joey Liberatore

As an early birthday present (His birthday is actually October 6), I decided to buy tickets to a concert where Joey's favorite band "Of Mice & Men," were going to be playing along with the headliner, "August Burns Red," which he also loves.  I happen to be a fan to so I jumped right on the opportunity to get us tickets to the show.  Now, mind you the bands are heavy metal and I knew it was going to be quite the experience but I was ready for it and I knew how excited he was going to be to go to it.  As by request, Joey wanted to stand right up front and on the rail, so we did... and it was awesome!!  The look on his face even just when the bands were warming up made me smile and realize how happy he was to be there.  Of Mice & Men begin to play and my "future husband" (as Joey calls him) Austin Carlile, comes out on stage to sing and scream.  The crowd begins to surf over the rails, start circle pits and Joey and I mind our own and just sing a long or...completely rock out if you will. :)  It was a blast and an event I am so glad I was able to share with none other than my brother.
                                                          Austin Carlile - Of Mice & Men

     
                                                                    August Burns Red

These are the moments that stick with me and I reflect on and realize how wonderful it truly is to be a big sister.  To me, it really is an empowering as well as honorable feeling.  I take care and look out for him and as he is getting older he sure has been building his brotherly protective fortress around me.  He has seen me at my best and happiest as well as my lowest where I feel stuck.  He has been one to always have hold of my hand and pull me up and through difficult times as needed.  We share more inside jokes with each other than probably anyone I know and we have the ability to hold an entire conversation via movie quotes...I confide in him and trust his advice and words of wisdom.    

"Sometimes being a sister is even better than being a superhero."

Sometimes I feel like he is more of a superhero to me than I am to him.  I can only hope to be as much of an inspiration and important factor in his life as he is in mine.

Getting back in the saddle

As I am concluding this emotionally draining week, I have been working on staying in the positive and improving the way of handling situations life may throw at us.  Rather than run away and hide when times get tough I am learning to just bite the bullet and take things as they should come.  Hiding and cowering in a corner does not solve anything but in fact lets what weaknesses we may have shine through.  I intend to face every situation face forward and learn how to start from scratch again if the situation calls for that.

With trying to juggle a million different tasks and priorities there is bound to be a mishap her and there that may leave you all the way back at start.  My inspirational thought abut this was that sometimes we have to fall to the bottom to prove to ourselves that we can rise to the top.  This week I experienced a shocking reality that is common in today's society and quickly had to bear with the situation and think of my next move.  I had my breaking down moment and after a phone call from my brother he reassured me of my strengths and the courage I have to pick myself back up and move on.  Being my brother and knowing my life and love of riding horses, he of course referenced the phrase "Get back in the saddle Gi." and closed it with the remark of, "It's what you do best."  Now, horseback and competitive riding is a strength of mine, however I knew my brothers meaning was much more deeper in context.

Often we are confronted by a sudden halt or instance in our lives that can be can be considered a major game changing play.  Some may take it as a construction zone or road block, while others (such as myself) will take it as falling off a trained horse that has suddenly gone wild.  We don't always have control of where the block lands, or what the horse spooks at, but we do have the control to grip the reins as best as we can and hold on for the ride.

Now, although getting thrown off a horse entails some physical pain, I still see it as a method and lesson of perseverance both mentally and physically.  I see tackling a situation in which you feel knocked back down to the bottom like so...

The horse (or situation) throws you for a loop and you find yourself sitting helpless for a couple seconds in the dirt, catching your breath from the initial shock and realizing you're still alright.  You get up onto your feet, walk yourself over to the horse (situation) and think to yourself that this isn't a matter of being beaten, but rather a test of your endurance and durability.  Left foot in the stirrup and hand on the saddle horn you pull yourself back onto the animal (situation) swinging your right foot over and securely into the other stirrup.  You are locked in and ready to conquer what you set out to do.  That being to enjoy the ride and be prepared for anything that may be thrown your way.

I think I will use the phrase, "Get back in the saddle," as a life long motto. :)        

09-07-12 - "Time is Love"

This weeks lesson, and more so challenge was time management.  I experienced a couple different ways in which I had to balance my time accordingly, find the time to make time for other opportunities and even take note of the time in a different country.  Oddly enough, my current song I have had on repeat is "Time is Love," by Josh Turner, which I highly recommend for all you Country music fans.  

"I know I gotta put in the hours, make the money while the sunlight shines." - Josh Turner
With so many priorities, obligations, and other activities going on it is difficult to balance the time allotted for each  task.  For instance, for being both a full time employee as well as student I often get a sudden urge of anxiety as to what all I have to do and what I will be doing next.  Being able to plan ahead and look at my timeline of tasks, determining which task to tackle first as well as reassuring myself that IT WILL get done, definitely helps me to power through.  I liked this verse from "Time is Love," by Josh Turner because it illustrates that I have to put in the hours to accomplish what needs to be done in a timely manner.

"But anything I gotta get done, it can get done some other time." - Josh Turner
An interesting phrase relating to time and my attempt at time management.  When an opportunity arises, sometimes you have to just bite the bullet and take a chance right then and there.  I have learned that just as time is not replaceable, neither are certain opportunities.  Chances, are also not consistently granted from a genie.  I decided to take a chance and made a time sensitive decision this week.  One that is very important to me and I feel is a huge priority at the moment until it is resolved.  It is one of those instances where I feel as if the right situation comes up "anything I gotta get done, can get done some other time."  Sometimes we have to make way and push other assignments to the side for a little bit, only to officially complete others and ensure the fulfillment of the decision made.  I intend to do just this.

"Time is love, gotta run.  Love to hang longer but I've got someone, who waits." - Josh Turner
My last incident of time for the week has been keeping track of the time difference between Arizona, and a country across the seas. Now why in the world would I be doing such a thing?  A very close friend of mine was recently deployed again it has been quite a task keeping up with the time difference when we are actually able speak.  Here I thought eastern standard time was hard adjusting to, but I never thought I would have to be aware of someones time zone that was a day and a half and so many hours ahead of ours!  It is so nice to talk to him though, even for a split second to let him know he has someone at home thinking of him ("But I've got someone").  I enjoy devoting my time before I go to bed and when he is getting ready for work a whole day ahead, just to say goodnight (or good morning in his case) and wish him a good day.  Time is love and we both cherish the duration we get to speak but unfortunately, we both gotta run as well.  

This week has been a challenge I am thankful I have accepted.  I am looking forward to experiencing even more factors that will test my timing capabilities in the future to come.    

08-31-12 - "Gia and the Wonderful, Amazing, Not to Shabby, Very Great List"

As I conclude this week, I can't help but think thank goodness Labor Day Weekend is just around the corner...  If I could publish this week as a book, I would title it "Gia and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week."  On the positive side of things though there is always lessons to be learned which I in return am thankful for.  This weeks exercise:  Turning negative outcomes into reminders, not personal attacks.

"From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” - Anais Nin  

After a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week," I decided rather than dwelling on it and then just simply moving on, I should reflect and take something useful from the given situations.  I stumbled upon this quote from French-Cuban author Anais Nin and thought it fit perfectly.  "You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead," she exclaims. Of course, if something goes wrong that results in a negative effect, us as human beings are not going to react with complete and utter happiness right away.  I often can take negativity as a personal attack.  I can jump to a sudden conclusion with a blink of an eye, smack a label on myself and then call it done.  This is me needing to learn the right way to take charge of my reactions as Anais mentions.  However I have come discover that just taking a step back from the negative outcome and asking, "How can I apply positive reinforcement to not only make the circumstances better at the moment, but to prevent this situation in the future?" can really take its toll as well as personal pressure off of me.      

I actually wrote down some thoughts about applying this act of positive reinforcement.  When stressful situations arise, I intend to refer to this "Wonderful, Amazing, Not to Shabby, Very Great List."  My intentions are to walk through the list with the incident as my companion, and once our walk has reached the end of the briefing, we will simply part ways and move on from one another.  "Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life."  I feel as if creating this list and more so thought process is my form of taking control and of course focusing on what is more important in my life.  That of course if positive vibes and happiness.  A theory of mine is that if you are not constantly happy with yourself and life, you are not living.  And as Anais mentions, "Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life."

Lesson learned:  Don't destroy yourself upon negativity, but rather take charge of your response to execute sheer happiness and positive occurrences for the future.